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I had an appointment with my doctor. He asked me what I'd done yesterday.

I told him about my day:

"Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded across the edge of a lake, escaped from an angry 14 point buck in the heavy brush, marched up and down a steep hill, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand, jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake, then outran an alligator!"

Inspired by my story, the doctor said, "You must be an awesome outdoors-man!"

"No," I replied, "I'm just a shitty golfer."